So. Much. Is. Happening. It’s driving me a little nuts! Seriously. We’re waiting to hear word on a place, we’re trying to pack and organize, I’m trying to lessen my girl’s sadness about leaving their friends in the middle of a school year, trying not to pull on the little hair I have growing back in (failing miserably) trying to put up with two adult female bullies who thinks it’s fun to mess with a family… the husband’s dad is going in for a quadruple bypass within the next couple of weeks, changing up my meds..
Plus you know just regular life stuff.Oh and we lost our cat this last week which has sent me into tears at the most unexpected times. I don’t know if it’s from the stress or hormones or if it’s the lowering of my anti depressant dosage but I am crying A LOT more lately. Like several times a day.
I mean yes sad and crazy things are happening right now but I haven’t cried this much for YEARS like a lot of years. In a way I’m glad to get my emotions out on the other hand it’s freaking out my kids and making my husband feel bad and like he’s not protecting me.
I just gotta say… all this stuff is making me feel just a little crazy.
I’m no longer feeling the cruddy effects of lowering my dosages which is awesome. However there are SO many things going on right now in my life to stress me out that I’m totally freaking.
There is a person that I was forced into an interaction with today and… I shook for about an hour afterwards… it really upsets me that someone can get to me like that. It really pushes the point home how abnormal I am.
And now what am I doing you ask? Why I’m listening to the music blasting from next door that is so loud that I can hear it over my children and tv with a fan on… yeah that’s just awesome on my nerves.
I feel like it has to get better some day. I had a good weekend then the weekdays came along and horribleness happened. I want so badly to be positive but it’s so so hard.
Last night I caught myself picking at my new hair growth yet again which means that I’m probably going to have to do another shave and hope that I’ll be able to let it grow in again soon.
Okay I’m about ready to shave my bloody head bald. The pulling has gotten BAD.
Of course the amount of stress in my life at the moment isn’t helping at all. Just to heap on some more, my husband’s job decided to cut his pay due to a change in shift, we’ll be moving hopefully within the next few weeks, we’re waiting to hear if we’ve been approved for the townhouse we applied for.
Thing is that I know that February is going to be the month from hell for me. March will be way better…. but my fear is that by the end of February…. will I even have hair left?