Looooooming Looming Looming Away!

I seriously love looming. Not only do I love looming, I love learning about looming, reading about it, seeing other people’s projects….I love it all. 

I love the feeling of the yarn sliding through my fingers, I love seeing my project growing out the bottom of my loom, I love finishing a project and putting a brand spanking new, unique and comfortable hat on my head. I love just about everything about it. 

No I do love everything about it. I even made myself some custom loom hooks! I’ve just been having a blast. 

I’m running out of yarn! This hobby is turning out to be so soothing to me even when I’m totally tense, it’s the complete repetition of it I think. It’s a soothing repetitive motion, once you really get going you can almost pay half attention to it. I can do it and pay a decent amount of attention to whatever is on Netflix.

I’ve currently got 4 hats going at the same time. It’s kind of nice to switch colors, for some reason it keeps me from getting bored even if it’s the same exact stitch on each one. Right now I’m working on a light pinkish color, a plummy color, a red with sequins and a really pretty fluffy purple and light green and white colored hat. I’m SO excited to get them done, I would say I’m a quarter done on all four. So hopefully tonight I’ll get at least another quarter done on each one and then I get to try a new pattern. I’ll post it when I get started. I KNOW you’re excited to see what it is! 

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Looooooming Looming Looming Away!

I seriously love looming. Not only do I love looming, I love learning about looming, reading about it, seeing other people’s projects….I love it all. 

I love the feeling of the yarn sliding through my fingers, I love seeing my project growing out the bottom of my loom, I love finishing a project and putting a brand spanking new, unique and comfortable hat on my head. I love just about everything about it. 

No I do love everything about it. I even made myself some custom loom hooks! I’ve just been having a blast. 

I’m running out of yarn! This hobby is turning out to be so soothing to me even when I’m totally tense, it’s the complete repetition of it I think. It’s a soothing repetitive motion, once you really get going you can almost pay half attention to it. I can do it and pay a decent amount of attention to whatever is on Netflix.

I’ve currently got 4 hats going at the same time. It’s kind of nice to switch colors, for some reason it keeps me from getting bored even if it’s the same exact stitch on each one. Right now I’m working on a light pinkish color, a plummy color, a red with sequins and a really pretty fluffy purple and light green and white colored hat. I’m SO excited to get them done, I would say I’m a quarter done on all four. So hopefully tonight I’ll get at least another quarter done on each one and then I get to try a new pattern. I’ll post it when I get started. I KNOW you’re excited to see what it is! 

Breaking Free of Effexor: Day 7

I’m feeling much better today! Most of my ick is due to life circumstances not medicine withdrawal! So yay for that. 

I’m feeling like maybe I actually CAN do this. Maybe I can get off this medication that I’ve been on for almost 10 years. Maybe I can deal with the effects and still live life. 

I’m feeling like life is a little bit better. Yeah I am still hearing the wench next door’s television set and music all day every day but I feel a little less tense a little less anxious. Plus awesome news. We got a lawyer that we can sort of afford to help us with the issues we’re having with a certain person in the position to mess around with our lives quite a bit. 

So yeah today is okay. It’s decent. 

My Happy Thoughts Wishlist

So when I’m feeling icky I kinda lay there and like to think about the little things that would make me happy and cheer me up. Not the big stuff like world peace or more hair or a new house… the little things. Today I’m writing one out. Usually it’s done in my journal but hey I’m blogging now so today it’s going to be blogged. 

1. An Authentic Knitting Boards All-n-One loom

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This loom is smaller gauge than the ones I have so of course I gotta have it lol. 

2. A yarn ball winder thingy…. because I’m sick of tangling my yarn and also tired of trying to wind my own balls

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3. Lunch out with my girls… we love to go to The Old Country Buffet for “girls day” and we haven’t gotten to do it in quite a while

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4. Yarn… yarn and more yarn

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5. A massage

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6. A really long nap

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7. To find a picture of my paternal grandmother. She passed when my dad was young and we cannot find a picture of her anywhere. Her name was Gabrielle Dawson Purcell if anyone out there in interweb land has a pic of her let me know. 

8. To meet my internet land friends in real life. Especially my TK girls. I’ve been with these girls since 2007, we’ve been through births, deaths, divorces, marriages, sickness and health… better and worse…. lol we’ve been through a ton together.

9. A mineral makeup make over. I’m pretty ugly so I need a lot of help with the make up and I’ve always wanted to try the Bare Minerals type stuff!

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10. A family reunion, complete with my great grandma!

There ya go… that’s my wishlist for right now. Hopefully I’ll be able to do or have all of them at some point. Right now money is being squished for hopeful moving (ohpleasepleasepleasegod) into a new peaceful home.

Breaking Free of Effexor: Day 3

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Okay day two was just horrible… so I skipped blogging. I skipped most things. Thank God the girls had no school because I had no get up and go to get them going out the door to school.

I don’t know how many of you have been on Effexor/Venlafaxine. It’s a great antidepressant. It works well for a lot of people. However coming off of it is HORRIBLE. I’ve done it twice before. Once when I was having my first daughter and once when I couldn’t afford it. 

The first time I tapered off it and the second time I went cold turkey. Either way it’s not fun. At. All. It’s dreadful really. Jitters, the runs, flu like feelings…and the dreaded brain zaps. I have tried so many times to explain it to people. It’s like…. okay say you turn your head and stop moving. You just stop right? Your brains and everything stop at the same time as the rest of your head. Well when coming off this drug it feels like your brain keeps moving for a couple more seconds and rebounds off the inside of your skull. It’s a combo of dizzy and something akin to an electrical shock. 

It’s hard to explain. 

Effexor has a short half life so you generally get to experience it if you even miss a dose or are late taking it. 

So yeah, this is what’s going on…. it sucks but you know what? In the long run it will be better for me. 

Saw My New Pdoc

So I have a new Pdoc… well in all reality she’s a psychiatric nurse practitioner, but you know what? She was sweeter, more patient and more explanatory than any actual Psychiatrist I’ve ever seen.

She’s decided we’re taking me off my anti depressant that I’ve been on since I was about 20 and I’m terrified. The one time I went off of it I went through horrible withdrawal side effects. However she knows about these issues and has decided we will be SLOOOOOWLY tapering me off and when I say slowly I mean we’ll be taking more than 6 months to do it most likely. 

Apparently an anti depressant is counter indicated by my Bipolar 2 and she just cannot understand WHY my other psychiatrist would not only have me on and anti depressant but have me on such a very high dosage. The starting dosage for Effexor/Venlafaxine is 37.5 mg… I’m on 300 mg and have been for a really long time. She said it’s a stimulant, it’s probably what’s causing my breakthrough anxiety, it’s causing me to have high blood pressure and it has GOT to go. 

Sadly we’re also changing my mood stabilizer the olanzapine is just not for me. When I stepped onto the scale in her office my jaw dropped. In the ONE month that I’ve been on it I gained FIFTEEN pounds yeah, not okay. Apparently once the switch is made my weight will drop fairly rapidly, and quitting the Effexor should help too.

I would have to say however that the best part of the whole visit was that I met an older gentleman in the waiting room who also has Bipolar…OMG we were chatting and he was saying something about being the king of useless trivia and how the information gathering and random factoid knowingness that I’ve had my entire life is NORMAL for us. That it’s one of OUR (ie bipolar people’s) things. He said we are 4% of the population. That really struck me, I mean jeez I’m a bipolar person and I don’t even know all that much about us. The public really doesn’t know jack diddly squat, they know the few derogatory things that they’ve seen on television or movies.

He told me about a bipolar support group that meets in my area and I think I just may go. At this point in my life I have online friends only. No real life people. Now don’t get me wrong it’s great to have the people I have online, but I need to stop being so isolated. So I’m going to check it out. He said there are also groups for spouses of bipolar people and I’m wondering if something like this may help out my honey. 

We didn’t talk too much about my trich, who knows maybe balancing my meds will help with the compulsions… she’s not a talk therapist, she’s a med management doctor so I may have to find a counselor to help me with my compulsions. In the mean time I’m going bald and looming to keep my fingers busy!